In the US, it’s estimated that 20% of all online dating profiles are looking for same-sex partners. That’s a lot of guys! As someone who’s spent a lot of time traversing gay dating websites and sex apps, I’ve learned a thing or two about looking for gay love online. Alas, no gay app or website will ever be perfect (there are dickheads on them all!) but some are definitely better than others.
In this list of gay dating apps and hookup sites, I’ve tried to cover all the bases. Whether you’re looking for casual sex, cruising spots, or a long-term commitment, this list of the best gay websites has got you covered. A few of these sites require subscriptions, but many are free or have decent free versions available. So, what are the best hookup sites? Which gay app is best? Let’s dive in!
Although often associated with straight people, Adult Friend Finder (AFF for short) can be used as a gay hookup site just as easily, featuring a ton of gay singles and couples looking to organize hot sex. AFF is a bit of an all-in-one website – it gives you the ability to plan gay sex hook-ups, set up dates, watch live webcams and watch member-generated porn too. Don’t let the lady on the homepage fool you – this is a brilliant gay hookup site.
On Out Personals, everyone seems to have their dick out! If you’re looking for a no-nonsense free gay personals site, Out Personals is the site for you. You’ll find a mixture of smiling faces and exposed penises as you browse through the member’s area, taking in the various profiles. I would say that Our Personals tends to attract an older audience, so bear that in mind if you prefer younger blokes.
Grindr is known for its unique grid layout system, showing men who are closest to your location first. This makes it great for hooking up with guys in your local area and you can also choose not to use a display picture, keeping things discreet if necessary. Grindr bios allow you to tell people facts about yourself such as whether you’re a top or bottom; whether you identify as a “bear”, “twink”, or “otter”; and what your HIV status is. Out of all the dating apps gay men use, Grindr is probably the most popular and well-known.
I’ve used OkCupid a few times and I’ve always found it to be one of the most wholesome gay dating sites out there. There are straight people on this site too, but the LGBTQ+ men on OkCupid are usually looking for serious dating and long-term relationships. When making a profile, the site asks you a series of questions about your stance on politics, religion, smoking, finances, and many other serious lifestyle factors, helping you to match with someone who has the same values and beliefs as you. You can also search for specific subjects to find guys who like the same things as you – some of which are very specific. Sadly, not many men share my love of ’90s Heavy Metal. It was worth a try.
Sniffies is a website that specializes in telling you where the local gay cruising spots are. If you’re the kinda guy who likes to do things old school, Sniffies can direct you to your nearest glory hole, cottaging toilet, or public sex park. It’s definitely not everyone’s cup of tea, but it’s a great way to experience homo hook-ups the old fashioned away. After all, cruising is just that little bit more exciting than using an app!
More than just a simple gay dating app, Hornet is basically Facebook meets Grindr. You CAN hook up with nearby men, but it’s not the main focus of the app. Hornet is basically a social media network for LGBTQ+ men in your local area and beyond – you can see the stories, posts, and photos that local LGBTQ+ men share. This can give you a more organic way to meet men and strike up a conversation. Despite all this cool community stuff, you can also message the user base on a Grindr-style messaging page, complete with naughty pictures that can be unlocked if the user decides to let you see them.
If you’re looking for anon gay sex in your local area and you’ve exhausted the gay dating apps, Craigslist is a great solution. Although this infamous website had to shut down its “personals” section due to trafficking concerns, Craigslist hookups live on in the “activities” section. If you go to the activities section in your area and filter it for the word “gay”, you’ll see tons of free gay personals of guys looking for casual sex in your town.
Becoming somewhat of a powerhouse in the gay community, Adam4Adam now has a sex shop, cam boys, its app, a porn site, and much more. It’s available online as well as for your smart device, so you can use it in the most convenient way for you. It can be used for casual sex or for serious dating, as they say on their homepage, you can find “Mr. Right” or “Mr. Right Now”. As an app, it feels very similar to Grindr. In fact, it has more options and filters than Grindr!
Gays2Fuck is an unusual gay hookup site, as it narrows down your choices straight away into twinks, bears, and “everyone”. This seems a little bit broad in my opinion when there are so many different types of gay men out there. The site is very open about its purpose (gay sex) but it does feel a little dated and clickbaity.
It feels like there are a million gay cruising apps out there, but what about gay men who are looking for dates and emotional intimacy? We do exist! GaysTryst is a new gay dating website that has a rule against sexually explicit photos. This makes it perfect for finding a partner without blokes trying to send you unsolicited dick pics 24/7!
Jack’d is one of those apps like Grindr which uses a grid of guys near your location, except that the user interface isn’t quite as sleek as Grindr’s. However, it does give you the ability to go on a “global” messaging system where you type in the name of a city and speak to fellas at that location. If you’re planning a trip to NYC, for instance, you can organize to meet with locals before you even get there. Jack’d also prides itself on being super diverse, and I was pleasantly surprised to find that that’s true. Most of the fellas I came across on Jack’d were Asian, Black, or Mixed Race, so it’s definitely popular with queer people of color.
There is an absolute shitload of gay apps out there these days, so I couldn’t fit them all into this list. However, here are a few honorable mentions that may be worth checking out!
–Squirt – Squirt is a relatively new free dating site without any payment, though it’s mostly used for local hookups
–Tinder – There are tons of gay Tinder users who use the famous “swipe right” app to look for love, relationships, and dating
–Silver Daddies – Silver Daddies is an old-fashioned gay personals site aimed at mature men and their admirers, many of whom are younger twinks/sissies
–Nasty Kink Pigs – In case the name didn’t give it away, Nasty Kink Pigs is a hookup and sex website aimed at homosexual men with kinks and fetishes like leather and BDSM
–Scruff – Scruff is a Grindr alternative which tends to be aimed at older men and more traditionally “masculine” men, although they’ve become more inclusive in recent years
–Growlr – Growlr is a gay sex app that is designed with “bears” in mind. If you’re a large, hairy man, or you’re into large and hairy men, Growlr is a great place to frequent
–r/Bros4Bros – r/Bros4Bros is a subreddit where male homosexual Redditors can post their naughty pictures and flirt with other members
–Recon – Recon is a gay sex website for fetishists, leather daddies, BDSM fans, and men looking for master/slave relationships
It’s hard to sell yourself to potential husbands on gay dating sites, so here are some tips to help you cut through the competition with a brilliant online dating profile.
1. Get a friend to help you
I know it’s a cliché, but well-established gay dating sites like Match.com always recommend getting a friend to help you create your dating profile. Why? Because as human beings, we have a tendency to focus on the negatives aspects of ourselves that we’re trying to improve. On the other hand, a good friend can easily identify your positive traits and features from an outside perspective.
2. Use 4 pictures in different settings
If the app/website allows it, use 4 pictures for your online dating profile. Professional matchmakers recommend using 4 pictures taken in different settings and at different angles. The goal here is to show different aspects of your life (i.e. social life, everyday life, hobbies) without coming across as vain or self-obsessed.
3. Have specific interests
I hate seeing profiles that list their interests as “Food. Coffee. Movies”. Yawn. That could mean 1,000 things. Are you into Mediterranean food? Arabica Coffee? Austrian Science Fiction Movies from the 1930s? Give people something more specific to break the ice with!
4. Check your spelling
Some people, like myself, are total Grammar Nazis, so you might want to consider checking your spelling and grammar before publishing your profile. Integrated spellcheck apps like Grammarly can help you out if you’re not great with words. Sloppy spelling and bad sentences can make you come across a bit dumb, which is not ideal when looking for love.
With apps like Grindr and Jack’d, finding “hot men near me” has never been easier. Nonetheless, there are still some basics rules to follow which maximize your chances of finding casual gay sex in your area!
1. Don’t send out mixed messages
If your bio says that you’re “just looking for friends”, but your profile pic is you posing in a skimpy jockstrap, it comes across like you don’t know what you want. Don’t say one thing but imply another!
2. Face pic is always better
We get it, some men are looking for a discreet gay hookup experience. Still, if you’re out of the closet and you don’t care if local people see you on an LGBTQ+ app, then a face pic is much more trustworthy-feeling.
3. Be careful how you state your preferences
We all prefer certain body types and appearances, and that’s totally fine, but be careful about how you state this information in your bio if you don’t want to look super bigoted. For example, the phrase “no fats, no fems” became a popular meme in LGBTQ+ culture after many Grindr users were criticized for using it. It’s fine to not be attracted to Black men, but saying “No Black men” in your profile is rude.
4. Take a decent dick pic
I know we’re not all Annie Leibovitz, but some basic photography skills can go a long way. There are many websites featuring guides on how to take a dick pic, so you’ve got no excuse for a garish photo of your Johnson. Personally, I would say shoot it from below, clean up your pubes, find some soft lighting, and don’t do that cringey thing where you put a coke can or a ruler next to it. We get it. It’s massive.
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